electra-supply.comCindy Wu, originally from Miaoli, Taiwan, has welcomed two beautiful mixed-race children into her life through in vitro fertilization (IVF) — her 3-year-old daughter Desi and 10-month-old son Vince. As she takes her children out, they often attract compliments about their cuteness, but the next question typically is, “Where is their dad from?”
“I used to respond seriously, explaining that they don’t have a dad, but that often makes people uncomfortable, as if they’ve asked the wrong question. So, I started saying, ‘The donor is American,'” Cindy shared with a smile.
Cindy has created a Facebook page titled “Single Parent by Choice,” where she chronicles her journey as a single mother through IVF and surrogacy, detailing the process of creating her family.
Modern working women often face pressures regarding their peak reproductive years, and Cindy was no exception. After struggling in her romantic life and longing for children, she saw a turning point thanks to the tech industry’s growing focus on women’s rights. While working at NVIDIA, she utilized her company’s benefits to freeze her eggs at no cost. Later, through a friend’s recommendation, she joined a group for prospective single mothers, which greatly inspired her. “I realized that I don’t need someone else to fulfill my dream of having children. That realization was incredibly empowering.”
However, it was a single male colleague at Google who truly spurred her to take the first steps toward parenthood. After joining the company as a project manager, he excitedly told her about finding an egg donor and a surrogate, saying he was on the verge of becoming a dad. This discussion shifted Cindy’s perspective, leading her to think, “If he can do it, so can I.”
When it came to selecting a sperm donor, Cindy didn’t prioritize physical looks or height but rather focused on health and educational background. Hoping to find someone from a different cultural background, she ultimately selected a Caucasian donor from the U.S. After two egg retrievals and successful sperm implantations, she was thrilled when the best embryo — the one she desired most — developed into her daughter Desi. The second embryo became Vince.
Cindy mentioned that her family holds conservative views about marriage and motherhood, believing that the primary purpose of marriage is to have children. Surprisingly, this perspective turned them into her biggest supporters throughout her IVF journey. “They were delighted to learn about the advancements in technology that allow for having children without marriage,” she reminisced, adding that they became her cheerleaders during the process.
While the embryo retrieval went smoothly, the real challenges began once she was pregnant. Cindy recalls feeling apprehensive about her pregnancy journey — she faced severe anemia and struggled to stand for more than ten seconds at times due to swelling, making her unrecognizable with her once-slim legs. Following the birth of her babies, she endured a serious urinary tract infection that escalated to sepsis, which doctors fortunately caught in time to prevent a life-threatening situation.
Desi was born in Taiwan, thriving with the help of Cindy and her family. She speaks Mandarin fluently and can even sing in Taiwanese. Desi’s delightful personality sparked Cindy’s desire for a second child, but the difficult pregnancy experience led her to explore new avenues, like surrogacy. However, she quickly discovered that pursuing a surrogate involved significant costs — from agency fees to medical and legal expenses, culminating in a staggering total.
Determined not to rely on an agency, Cindy tapped into her strong research skills and determination. She successfully navigated the entire process of finding an independent surrogate herself, saving approximately $50,000 in agency fees.
Cindy found her surrogate, Choua Wu, through a local mother’s group. Choua, an Hmong woman also living in California, later shared that she chose surrogacy because she enjoyed the pregnancy experience. When she came across Cindy’s post online, the two connected instantly.
During Choua’s delivery, Cindy was invited into the delivery room, where she had the special honor of cutting Vince’s umbilical cord and hearing her son’s first cry. Today, they keep in touch, with Cindy often sharing pictures of her children, hoping that when she eventually moves back to California, their families will intertwine.
Since launching her Facebook page dedicated to sharing the journey of voluntary single parenting, Cindy has produced well-made short videos summarizing the knowledge she gained during her IVF experience. She receives much praise, with some saying that watching her 10-minute video was equivalent to studying for 40 hours. However, she also encounters skepticism, especially from commenters in the Chinese-speaking community. Some ask if she has consulted the kids about being raised in a single-parent family, or question if they will be bullied for their family structure. With a chuckle, Cindy admitted she initially feared the negativity but has learned to respond with light-heartedness.
She shared an anecdote about a pair of gay mothers whose child explained to classmates that they had two moms, prompting envy rather than disdain. “Children compare, but it doesn’t mean they see things the way adults do,” Cindy reflected. “Who knows who envies whom?”
Desi, at just 18 months, began telling her own story, inspired by a special book for IVF babies. She understands that “with the help of doctors, the sperm and egg came together to create a little pea, which then grew into a baby in mommy’s belly.” Yet, being a naturally curious child, Desi recently asked Cindy why, if she’s so special, she can’t be like everyone else.
In response, Cindy said, “Everyone is unique. No matter her questions, my main message is that she was born into a loving environment because I wanted her so much. The potential for our family’s future is limitless. She is so happy here, she won’t feel like she has lost anything.” In Cindy’s love-filled home, family has become whole.
